BE-YOUtiful : Temporatarian

I go through these phases.
Phase 1: Intensely Motivated
I am being mindful of what I eat, documenting every bite, and exercising every day. I am always thinking about the future me, and making decisions to make the future me the best she can be. I don't feel like it's worth it to eat french fries or a candy bar because I'm satisfied and I'm happy with all the steps I'm taking towards my weight loss journey. The pounds that I drop keep me motivated to keep going! I weigh myself once a week.

Phase 2: Motivated with Hiccups
I am still exercising and eating right, but sometimes I eat three cookies too many, or an extra helping when I didn't need it. No worries, though, because I ran an extra mile, or ate a smaller dinner. I weigh myself a couple extra times a week just to make sure I'm getting back on track.

Phase 3: Binge Eating
I am going through an especially stressful time where I make excuses to miss the gym or eat an entire pint of ice cream at a time. In the moment I say, "Oh well" and after it's done I absolutely hate myself. This self loathing turns into more eating and self pity. I either weigh myself every day to punish myself, or I abandon the scale all together.

Phase 4: Picking Myself Up
After I've gained about 3-5 pounds, I am pissed off. I have sacrificed and sabotaged for too long, and I will not do it any longer. I ditch the junk food, and take up running again. I get back into the habit of recording everything I eat on MyFitnessPal, and I make time to exercise. Basically like Phase 1, only the motivation is because I just gained weight, not because I'm losing it.

...and then repeat.
During the summer, I only alternated between phase 1 and phase 2. I would eat healthy 80% of the time, and after the 20% when I ate something unhealthy, I would get right back up and work it off. Not to make more excuses, but being at school makes it difficult to lose weight. I have to have good time management skills, which I don't, and an immense amount of will power, which I don't, in order to make time to work out everyday and avoid the nacho bar in the cafeteria. I'm tired of starting over, so I've taken drastic measurements:

For the time being, I consider myself a vegetarian, and I will not eat meat until I am back to regularly losing weight and feeling great. I have totally abandoned everything I stood for this year, and somethings got to give. When I told people that I'm not eating meat, the first thing that comes out of their mouths is, "Why?"

Because not eating meat will make me more conscious about what I put into my body...

Because a lot of the processed meats that I eat are terrible for me...

Because I won't spend money ordering calorie packed food at work...

Because it's my body, my life, and my decision.

The second thing they say is a variation of , "Well I don't know how you will do it, I live off of meat."

I will do it because it keeps me motivated and focused on my goals. Every single day that I don't consume meat, I regain the pride that I once had in myself. I don't have to make a choice between one unhealthy dish and another. I pick vegetables, every time, and it makes me feel good. So far, I am happy with my choice, and therefore, it doesn't matter if other people think I can do it or not.

I'm not saying that being a vegetarian will solve all my problems, and that I won't pass through all my phases at least a hundred more times in my life, but it's a start. I'm also not saying that I won't eat meat for the rest of my life...so for now how about I call myself a "Temporatarian" as my boyfriend calls it:)

I have begun to write everything I eat down as I eat it. I feel it's a more effective way to make me aware of what I'm putting in my body. Putting it into MyFitnessPal is sometimes a mindless act, and it's not very effective. So I do both. If you want to see what I've eaten today, go to http://www.myfitnesspal.com/food/diary/olander22

I can't wait for summertime. I can cook my own vegetarian based meals (which I've already pinned at lot on my Pinterest if you want to check it out), I can focus solely on exercising, and I can work on my fit body. +The boyfriend said he's going to teach me how to lift, so I'm gunna be a toned MoFo!
I just signed up for the Neon Vibe 5K today-->It's on May 17th. And the Mudderella is May 31st.

CAN'T WAIT!