Am I less motivated?
Is losing weight getting harder?
Am I not trying as hard?
And I couldn't decide if it was one of those things or a combination of all of them so I went back. Back to the very beginning, to my very first blog post and I read...
Monday June 17th 2013. I was disgusted by how much weight I had gained due to the combined effects of cafeteria fried chicken sandwiches and too many four locos on the weekends. Over the past year and one month I have learned what foods are healthy for me and how to eat those healthy foods in the correct portions, I have discovered a love for running and exercise that I didn't possess 13 months ago, and I have lost about 40 pounds give or take depending on the day. And yet here I am, feeling defeated because I didn't reach my goal weight back in May, and I'm letting my determination slip through my fingers. So what's different this summer compared to last summer?
▬Mainly that I'm not working as many jobs and I have more down time. Last summer I would get up at the crack of dawn, get in my work out, pack a balanced lunch, and be done working by dinner, and in bed my 9pm so I could get back up the next day and do it all again. My schedule is a little different. I don't work until night time so I have an entire day to kill. Is that an excuse? Definitely not. What will I do differently? I will wake up and get in that early workout, and simply take a nap if I need one to keep me going later at night.
▬Another thing is my job. Working in a restaurant is tough business for someone trying to lose weight. Greasy fried foods that pack on the pounds just by looking at them. What will I do differently? Not only practice will power but pack healthy foods to snack on while I'm at work.
▬Blogging and counting calories is another thing. I didn't have internet at my house until now which made keeping track of everything particularly hard. Now that we have internet, I will continue to blog when I'm feeling defeated, triumphant, motivated, un-motivated, successful, and any other time in between.
▬I'm not doing my challenges anymore. Ever since I stopped [not] eating meat, I forgot all about my meatless Mondays. It's like it was all or nothing for me. I'm going back to my challenges to make me think everyday about the food I consume.
Meatless Mondays
Tiny Portion Tuesdays
Weigh In Wednesdays
Thirsty Thursdays (Drink only and lots of water)
Fruit & Veggie Fridays
What's more? I ran a 12:56 mile when I started compared to my 8:14 mile that I ran yesterday.
I posted on June 20th 2013 that "My ULTIMATE goal is to get back into a bikini by next summer." So when I'm feeling down about my progress I need to remember that I made that happen.
I've already done it: I've gotten through that first year, gotten down to a size I feel fairly comfortable in, and now all I have to do is push through that last little bit. Despite the title of this particular post, I haven't failed. I've done what many people couldn't. And for those who know me, you're probably thinking that I should feel satisfied with the progress that I've made and don't get me wrong, **I am so very proud of myself for how far I've come**
HOWEVER
I'm not done.
I think losing weight messes with one's perspective a little bit. Although compared to what I looked like when I began, I am like a completely different person, I still look in the mirror and see all the areas that need trimmed and toned.
Which is why I got off my ass at 6:00 am this morning and ran the countryside. Which is why I am sitting here now eating an apple for breakfast along with toast and sugar free jam. Which is why I will begin again, and continue to succeed:)
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