Just A Case Of The Monday's

I don't know where this big rain cloud came from that has been hovering over my head--but I've not been in the highest spirits about myself. I'm still really excited about my path to happiness: weightloss, and I haven't swayed in determination one bit...but as I was feeling good about the way I look last week, this week is the exact opposite and it's putting me in a funk. All I can see is my stomach pooch, or I become painfully aware of how my legs rub together when I'm wearing a swimsuit. I don't know where it came from--but this bad attitude about myself needs to go away somehow, so I tried working it out of me.

I haven't eaten very much today: I had a bowl of cheerios for breakfast, for lunch I had a Subway veggie delight on italian herbs and cheese, with american cheese, avocado, lettuce, tomato, cucumber, black olives, and honey mustard. I added some apple slices to the mix--and it was amazing. Snacks were a granola bar, Greek yogurt, and fruit snacks. I never had a chance to get dinner because I was working out a lot. I'm a little hungry, but it was really late by the time I made it home, so I decided to skip dinner. I'm WAY below my calorie intake level which is NOT good---apparently it sends my body into starvation mode which slows down my metabolism and makes it harder to lose weight, which I don't need (it's hard enough already). I honored Meatless Monday, although I almost forgot a few times.

For my workouts, other than swimming a million laps during swim lessons, I ran 2 interval miles, did crunches (ball ups, russian twists, regular crunches), superman's, pushups, squats, and leg press today. THEN after I got done with the gym workout, I decided I wanted to go on a walk, so my best friend and I walked around the park for almost an hour and a half walking 2.86 miles. Now I'm exhausted and ready for bed since my 9PM closing shift put me home at midnight last night.

Which is why, by the way, I did not post last night.

Apparently, my phone couldn't handle all those hours of app processing how long and far I walked during work, so the experiment failed.
I really hope to recover from this awful mood I'm in about myself. My best friend (and mentor) told me, "Don't focus on how you look now, think about how you are going to look soon." I think that's my problem. I know that losing weight doesn't happen overnight, but it has really hit me hard how much weight I've gained, and all I want to do is get it off my body. I am losing weight, but I'm not instantly looking how I've dreamed, so I'm getting even more insecure about myself than I already am. As it turned out, though, my insecurities pushed me harder in the gym tonight, and I'm grateful for that.

Buenas noches, everyone!