The Motivation Revival: Part 2

Motivation is an elusive creature. Once you catch it, it can often escape your grasp for months, and in my case...years. Luckily, combing through pages of progress and setbacks has fueled in me a fire that will not be so easily put out this time around.

I last found myself struggling to maintain a healthy lifestyle 2,000 miles away from home in Buenos Aires, Argentina. At this time I was consuming a diet of meat, french fries, and alcohol, but I was working out fairly regularly. Looking back at those pictures, I remember feeling overweight and ashamed of my body. Now, I use those pictures for motivation. It breaks my heart that I can never be appreciative of how strong and beautiful I am in the moment. I constantly dream of being thinner, stronger, sexier. So from this point forward, my first goal is going to be appreciate the skin I am in right now. Celebrate the changes and wins but love my body in the current shape it's in. Think more kindly of my rolls and the cellulite because she gets me to where I need to be each and every day.
Be kinder to my bones. 

2 years ago this September is when I made the decision to go vegetarian at college. Mostly to see if I could do it but also for health benefits and to stop supporting the exploitation of animals. A month ago today is when I made the decision to follow a total plant-based diet and to become vegan in my actions as well as my eating habits. I strive to become an animal activist and to also stand up for the environment, especially in this political climate. But I also have absolutely no boundaries with food and I seek to transform the relationship I have with food. I have little self-control when it comes to eating and I overeat when I'm experiencing any kind of negative emotion. Making the decision to go vegan means a lot of that decision is taken away from me. Now when I come home drunk at 2AM, I eat hummus instead of pizza.

I am ready to self-actualize. I am ready to be my best self physically, professionally, and emotionally. I need this fire to stay lit so I don't settle in to this idea that where I'm at is good enough while simultaneously learning to love myself as I currently am. It sounds contradictory but those two things are necessary for me to be able to create a healthy and fulfilling life for myself. I need to remember that even if those numbers on the scale are not where they were two years ago, I've still come a long way.

From here I promise to push myself in every aspect of my life. To rid the fear of failure and simply do my best. To eat mindfully and to exercise with my goals in mind. To not become obsessed but aware. To not let excuses stand in my way. To know that even on bad days that I am powerful and capable.