And the Battle Continues...

I realized that I only post when I feel a burst of inspiration, if I have done well with healthy eating habits or workouts, or if I feel good about myself. It's that thing where you only show your good side and successes to the social media world (not that anyone ACTUALLY reads this thing anymore). But even when I'm posting for myself. I like to overshadow the fact that I have bad days, bad weeks, and even bad months. While I love being here in Buenos Aires, I'm also having a really hard time. Sometimes I wake up and lack motivation. I will go run and workout, but I make excuses and break my routine. I get sad or stressed out and I eat (or not) in an extremely unhealthy manner. I need consistency.

My two biggest problems are that I don't pay attention to my body and I make up excuses to not exercise, and that has caused me to gain weight over the past couple months; even in the past couple weeks. And that starts this ugly cycle of negative body image, getting down on myself, emotional eating, and more self-loathing due to the poor choices I've been making. I'm going to admit: it's very hard. I thought it would be easy because I would be getting away from the fast food environment back home but the reality is, with all the stress of being away from home, it's actually more difficult. The best I can do is try and keep myself positive and exercising, because that always causes a domino effect lifting my mood and also how I see myself.

I miss making my healthy shakes in the mornings or afternoons. I miss my egg white omelet with vegetables and salsa. I miss the gym or the ease of running around town without having to dodge too much traffic or people. I miss having friends who want to work out with me. And it's hard because I know when I go home, I will miss Rivadavia Park: my favorite place to go by myself. I will miss running there with all the other people young and old, completely unconnected to my life but linked to me by a common purpose. I'll miss the pond and the willow tree, while although filled with people, the park actually is the most peaceful place on Earth.

I can do difficult, because that's all I've been doing for the past three months. Keep pushing.